Prita

“So how many with you? Is it as many as the guy in a basketball team or as many as … the people in China?”

This is a tricky question. And that is the question my friend asked me when he wants to know how many guys I have been with in intimate relationships. I was laughing out loud.

Honestly, I don’t like when someone asked me that. For me, it’s a personal thing. And it’s the same when I’m in a relationship. I never cared how many gals he had going out with or slept with before me.

So I didn’t answer his question and I tried to change the topic to something else that is less personal and more general like … “Don’t you just love Jakarta’s weather lately? I mean, it’s always foggy day in the morning … and you don’t have to set the AC temperature  down because it’s cold enough”.

But somehow he manages to ask me back that kind of personal question.

“So there’s this Ald guy in college, And also in college, Ale in college, Nov that guy in German, Se at your first office, who have you been with after Se?”

I suddenly lost the mood. It was tiring when I had this kind of conversation with my girlfriends, so it was more disturbing with guys. I mean, I could understand if he was gay (which he is not) but come on with straights?? Get off my back please. And I chose to not answer his question, though in the hope that he will stop asking that kind of question and get us back on track to a casual chat, I said …

“Hmmm … I’ve been a single for 9 years. And to fulfill my desire I have tools, a partner to have sex chat on line, and a list of F^*K buddies. So I don’t really need a guy … and if the time has finally come for me of wanting a child … I still do not need a guy … Just a couple of his best swimmer will do. Btw you missed one, I have someone in high school as well. Heyyy it’s not a basket ball team … more like a football team, is it?”

And that was it. There was a little bit jaw-dropping and awckward moment at that time. But then he said

“Ooohhh … I didn’t know that. But I have nothing against lesbian. Fyi, Prita”.

OH COME ON!

Moral of the Story : Not all lesbian is a bitch. But most of straights are.

I’m not really a weekend lover. But I like the Friday vibe from people around me. Especially people at the office.

Fyi, my lovely boss just installed this cute sound in his computer. So whenever he turns his computer on, there will be a sound of a yawning guy waking up from his sleep. It’s cute.

And if the computer got a virus, it’ll sneeze. Cool …

This Friday, after reading The Herald Tribune, he opened his email … and I can hear from where I sit that he was listening to an episode of an Audition of … American Idol. He was laughing out loud. Because … this singer sang a song … terribly!.

My opinion, it sounded like a dying cat parade. Which is horrible. I smiled not because I heard that terrible singer, but because of … how he was laughing.

And it is soothing to hear my boss calling his sweetheart and saying … “Hello sleepyhead …” in a lovey dovey voice. Hmmmm …

It turned out setting off my dark-cold-cynical mood for a change gave me something else to learn. My boss is a hopelessly romantic guy I’ve ever met. He had called him more than 4 times today and just arrange a vacation with him on February.

I smiled a lot for the rest afternoon.

Happiness is transmittable, isn’t it?

My friend Rosy sent me an email this morning. With subject “It’s not him, right?”. I right-clicked it and open it ASAP, and the full message is : The guy in “i’m blue” blog is not the guy that I had in mind right? I mean, it’s 2009 … he is so olddddd for you now. Come on … can you just date guys in their 30s?.

Hmmm I never paid attention about age gap. I mean … okay, the guy is … much much older than me so he has silver hair and wrinkles. But what if he keeps himself in shape, can stay up late, and has Maroon 5 and Madonna on his iPod list?. I mean come on, can those count as a dating-material guy?

It’s not like I’ve never tried dating 30’s guys … I just more intrigued with those above 40’s guys. Regard the “I’m Blue” blog. And of course I’m talking about above 40’s guys with good shape, can stay up late and has a good taste of music. And I just happen to have a great conversation and really enjoy my time with them.

“Maximum is 10 years, Prita” says my friend at work. “Otherwise … don’t you feel like you’re dating your dad’s friend?”

Yuck.

Se’s email was more cynical. He says “Hey P,  if you keep seeing him … at least until 2015, I have tips for you. You have to start browsing a good store that sells hearing aids. ‘Cause he won’t hear you, when you whisper “I love you” in his ear in 2015. You would be just like a fish to him. *LOL*”

Oh … it’s a lovely day when you have your married ex-lover mocking you about relationships.

I love my Thursday.

A :  … I need you. Can I come to your place?

So there I was. Driving my car voluntarily to his house. My secret getaway. My secret sanctuary. When I got there, he waited me at the lobby of his apartment. Wearing short and a sleeve-less shirt, while I look like a mess. Straight from the office, my jacket was unbutton, pale, puffy eyes, my hair … all tangled, and he can still see the track of my tears on my cheek.

He grabbed me instantly. His arm around me. And I just want to dissapear. I know I’ll be save with him.

I lay down on his comfy sofa with a blanket.

A : Do you want to take a shower first?

I don’t answer.

A : I will make you green tea. That’s your favourite …

I closed my eyes. Though tears keep running down my cheek.

He came with the tea. And ask …

A : Do you still want to cry?. I nod.

A : Come here …

and I cry … I was a mess, with no make-up at all, fragile, and I feel like I’m in the bottom of the sea.

A : What do you want to do now?

B : I don’t want to know about him anymore.

A : And?

B : Can we stop the interrogation now?

He smiled.

B : Am I that ugly?

A : yesss .. you are. Especially when you don’t want to take shower when your friend told you to.

I smiled.

B : Seriously …

He looked at me. Touch my nose.

A : You? Ugly? Wow … who told you that? Well yes compare to Giselle Bundchen, but you are definitely not ugly. You are a determined perfectionist heartless cold bitch. But you always know what you want. If that’s not beautiful, I don’t know what else.

And that made me cry even more.

After sobbing and crying like a stupid teenager, I got up, went to the bathroom, get freshen up and join him at the dinner table. Then I saw a big poster in his dining room. And there’s a name in the poster. “The Clash”. And I asked him …

A : The Clash? What is that? Is that like a cult or something?

He choked. And smiling ..

B : A CULT??? It’s a punk band from UK. Around 1976. My favourite.

A : Wow … how vintage. Are they still exist?

And he didn’t answer my question.

B : I told you our age gap will caused such problem. Just eat your dinner ….

Saturday, staying at home all day. And the boredom was killing me. I can’t wait for my Sunday date. My orgasm rendezvous with the girl friends!

First thing first, having a brunch with Miss Nenny. I call her that because she’s a teacher in a Pre-school. Hmmmm cute huh? Senayan City, Excelso cafe. Dory Fried with Ice Mango tea for me and Beef Lasagna with this big glasses of choco chip something. Fat … but yummy! Having a good conversation with good food have always been my favorite thing to do. Though I don’t eat much … ;). Then we took a picture in front of this big Ox at Senayan City. Moooooooooo !!!

Just like Nanda, ms Nenny is getting married with her sweetheart. And listening her story about how she adores J, gave me a great feeling. When the love is strong, you just want to deal with your obstacles.

Thanks Ms Nenny.

I was having a bad hair day last Wednesday. And I also have to manage the ADS interview session. So juggling between my work and going back to the Auditorium to check whether the candidate is there with my bad hair … was awful.

I was holding my HT and communicating with Ipung to sent more candidates to the 2nd florr when Nigel passed me and greeted me warmly with, “Good Morning, Prita!”. And I replied with, “Morning …”. And not at all looking at him. He stopped.

“Nig …Good morning Nig. Don’t you want to say that?”

I stunned. My eyes got bigger then I smiled. Wide. “Good morning Nigel”.

“That’s it Prita, smile … Much better!”

I cant stop smiling after that. He made my day. He is a teacher that complain a lot when something done not the way he wanted. And he swears. I can’t stand those swearings. But since he got married last year, he is so different. Polite, not swearing at all, helpful, and more patience. Patience with us not the students … *lol*.

O yea, one more thing. Last weekend, I spent it with Nanda. It’s a late birthday lunch date. We went to Sushi Tei. Good food, great conversation too. The last time I met her was before the Ramadhan month. So it’s been like almost 4 months. God …

We went to see “Yes Man” starring Jim Carrey and Zoey Deschanel (I think that’s her name …). Laughing out loud. Have a cup of coffee afterwards, saying good bye at the ground floor with a plan that I will stay over at her house next weekend. Hmmmm …

She’s getting engaged this March. And soon to be married with Nate. She looks happy … and healthy too. :P.

I’m so thankful to Nate to make her happy like that. Thanks Nathan.

Long-distance relationship is hard, but I wish all the happiness in the whole world for you guys.

I cant stop smiling in my car on my way home that night …

Oohhh lovey dovey. I’m in the mood to talk about it. Not that I have fell in it. At least now.

At my office there’s this couple. The guy is a student for Bahasa Indonesia class at my office. And the woman always dropped him off every morning for the past week. Sometimes when the Bahasa Indonesia teacher has not arrived yet, she waited at the lobby with her boy friend. And they will sometimes smooching and doing … you know. ;). Most of my office friends find it uncomfortable to see them.

While I quite enjoy it. How they’re holding their hands, see each other’s eyes, and even … how they say their goodbyes.

I never get that lucky in relationships. For me, it is doomed. I’m born to be single *smiled devilishly*. Officially a loner.

But I find it exhilarating to see them.

It’s natural for a mother to love their kids. I mean … it’s like something that naturally produced in your hormones when it comes about loving your child or … your family member. But I never get how couples could love each other so much (in my case, like this couple at my office) like that … and they’re not even related but I can just see from their eyes and how they talked with no sound … by just moving their lips … Like a fish … *LOL*, that somehow, those gestures telling me, “Yes, we’re happily in love”.

The guy is a foreigner that doesn’t spoke English as his native tongue and the woman …is a beautiful Indonesian. And guess what, she is an alumnus of ADS. Gal with a brain, average face … but killer body. :).

Seeing them, reminded my self when I was in a relationship. How coldly I was to him when he was trying to kiss me every time we met … in a restaurant … or the mall … I mean, I like cuddling better than smooching *lol*.

Then I asked my self … “Did I not love him that much?”.

And he was always my best friend. So when I brought this up .. he gave me this winking icon and saying … he was glad. That the question came up … and saying … he was grateful. That finally for the first time … when we’re talking about relationships … I remembered him first over that Indonesian guy he is so envy of.

And it feels great. I love my 2009 already.

Thanks very much, you are more than just a friend for me.

I’m totally speechless, merci. Feels that saying thanks does not enough to appreciate your kindness. You’re stunning my eyes.

Even not in the same age we grow up together. And I can enjoy my life because of you. Because u loved me, because I love u, because of the man, because of the friendship, because I’m really hungry for a woman’s attention (like you, darl) and men’s touch!.

When you feel his warm hug

To see him telling you, how he spent his day

The first kiss. A second after that. The stillness

The quivering moment when you first saw him the next day after the date

His touch that lingers

His smile that brighten your day

His laugh when you scratch his back

To hear his heart beat, when you lay your head on his chest

I don’t get him. I want to know him more, but the other of my self just keep saying he’s not a keeper.

*wink*